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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27115747">I'm missing half of me, when we're apart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munzi/pseuds/Munzi'>Munzi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Crying Harry, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Sad Harry, Sleepy Cuddles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:33:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,838</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27115747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munzi/pseuds/Munzi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One direction has been going strong for three and a half years and so were Harry and Louis untill they decided they should break up for good. </p>
<p>Every thing was going fine before harry showed up at Louis' hotel room in the middle of the night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm missing half of me, when we're apart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been almost 6 months since the break up. Things had settled down for a while now but at the beginning both of them struggled with every little thing. Harry had forgotten to how to laugh without Louis cracking him up. He missed eating with Louis. No, he missed cooking for him. Cooking was his thing, but not anymore. Not without Louis moaning in appreciation, telling him he should consider being a chef when they got old and wrinkly and couldn't sing. Something that Harry still very much craved was sharing a room. It had been months but coming back to an empty bedroom, broke his heart every single time. The absence of warmth and Louis' laugh in his room, he would never get used to.</p>
<p> Louis despised waking up alone. He had tried cuddling a pillow at first, nuzzling into it like he nuzzled into harry to wake him up. Ended up throwing the stupid thing across the room, realising how pathetic it actually was. he missed the constant contact with his curly boy. They were always holding hands or cuddling or kissing. His favourite thing in the whole wide world used to be playing with Harry's curls. It was all gone now. All they ever shared were a few scattered glances. Sometimes their eyes held a sense of longing, other times, emptiness. They couldn't avoid each other for most part of the day, no matter how painful it was to be in the same room as just bandmates. </p>
<p>It concerned the other boys, they never caught Harry showing off his dimples unless it was on stage and they never caught louis cracking a joke unless it was in an interview. So Liam, Niall and Zayn had taken it upon themselves to keep the boys company whenever they could, even though both of them insisted on being left alone. Liam had tried talking to Louis about how dull things had became without his flamboyant persona but the Donny lad had effortlessly brushed it off with a cheeky comeback. while Zayn had convinced Harry to be himself again but it only worked for a couple of days. He didn't feel like himself without his Lou. </p>
<p>Pain bloomed inside Harry's chest when he realised how long he had gone without properly looking at his love. He was currently staring down at a smiling Louis on his phone. It was undoubtedly his favourite smile, the best in the whole world. He had been fortunate and extremely blessed to spend his time with such a kind soul in an insanely attractive body. Why was he feeling greedy though? Why did he want more time with Louis? Why did he love him so much? Why was it so difficult to even breathe without him? He shouldn't have been so eager to give his heart away. He should've paid heed to the ones who told him that love had a price to pay. Harry never thought Louis would break his heart. They were so happy together. With the two of them against the world he couldn't fight any battle. He felt unarmed now. Defeated.</p>
<p>Harry nearly threw his phone out of anger before his droopy eyes persuaded him that it would be a good idea to doze off and kick Louis out of his mind. Discarding his clothes, he slid under the covers. He just wanted his little spoon. Was that too much to ask for? A lone tear glided down Harry's skin. Not bothering to wipe the moisture away he closed his eyes. Maybe when he opened them again he would wake up in a different universe where they could be together for infinity and beyond.</p>
<p>Harry continued to carry the dull hammering pain inside him for a couple of days. Do people die of heartbreaks? He felt it getting worse by the minute. Being numb was better but he knew it wouldn't last for ever, he knew this was going to happen because he'd never move on. Louis was it. Period. Everything felt like a chore, eating, dressing, even hanging out with the boys. Harry couped up in his room as much as he could. He barely interacted exept for work. Most of his time he spent looking at the ceiling. Sometimes he allowed the tears to flow, other times he headed to the gym, exausting himself untill sleep could take over. </p>
<p>"Um, the fans seem to really like this particular rumor. Larry Stylinson, what's that about?" All the boys were sitting in an interview. Harry didn't want to come but as usual the management wouldn't budge. Also the interviewer seemed like a proper meanie.</p>
<p>"Well there is obviously nothing going on between us. We're just bandmates. You said it was a rumor yourselves." Harry replied. Another serge of emotions hitting him right into his gut as he looked over at Louis.</p>
<p>Louis continued looking straight ahead, not that he was unaware of the fact that Harry had turned his attention to him." Yeah. We're more like brothers to be honest. All of us lads."  They had been asked this question multiple times. Only this time what Harry said we true. If Louis assumed correctly, Harry felt like he was gutted with a knife, not very different from how Louis felt himself. He would've let Harry cry on his shoulder later, petting his head, assuring him that he loved him very much. If only things were different, but this was better. It would hurt them less in the long run. Harry would understand it one day.</p>
<p>Later that night Louis heard a knock at his door. He quickly glanced at the clock, noting it was nearly one. he had already decided that it was Niall with the recording of the latest football match. They had to be at the concert tomorrow evening but nothing aside that. Could've pulled an all-nighter if they wanted." Hello! Hel- " louis greated, opening the door but halted when he was met with green eyes and chocolate curls instead. Harry was still wearing the same clothes from the interview. Louis looked at him, observing the emotions that reflected through his red rimmed eyes. Harry looked truely devastated, dark circles forming on his face along with the tangled curls he hadn't bothered to brush. They were sticking to his face. Louis wanted to thread his fingers through them and rest Harry's head upon his shoulder. Crush him in a hug.</p>
<p>"May I come in?" Harry asked, knowing quite well that they could stare at each other all night long but he needed more.</p>
<p>"Yeah, uh- yeah, yeah!" Louis replied. It felt like ages since harry last came to him. "Sit, I'll grab you water."</p>
<p>Harry sat down on the edge of the bed, unscrewing the lid of the bottle he was handed. Louis sat down next to him. When was the last time that happened?he scoffed at the thought before taking a sip. </p>
<p>"Don't want to be alone" harry said. He wanted to be with Louis.</p>
<p>"No problem, mate. You can stay." Louis couldn't be cruel enough to send him back, right? " I'll call the boys. We'll watch a movie, hang out, yeah?"</p>
<p>"No." Harry blurted. He wanted Louis. "Just you." Only you.</p>
<p>"Okay. We can talk or watch a movie or sleep or whatever " Louis didn't want to acknowledge how something painfully moved inside him when he heard 'just you'. He'd do it for the other lads as well.</p>
<p>"Movie." Harry muttered. He simply didn't have the energy for anyone more than a whisper. Why was pain was so exausting?</p>
<p>Louis was expecting harry to talk about it but this was better. He couldn't handle the talking anyway. "Cool. Marvels?" </p>
<p>Harry just nodded. Not really wanting to watch a movie. He was just hoping they could cuddle at some point in the middle. just wanted to be in Louis' arms and everything would be better. </p>
<p>With his head resting on louis chest successfully, Harry sighed. He had tuned out all the other sounds in exchange for Louis' heartbeat. The older male had stiffened up at first when Harry reached out for a cuddle but eventually couldn't resist wrapping his hands around the handsome lad. He told himself he would cuddle any of the boys if the need be. Not much later, Louis found himself getting lost into his favourite shade of green, unable to break out from the trance. Harry took the opportunity and went in for a kiss, Louis instinctively kissed back. It felt nothing less than cool water on parched lips. Why had they denied themselves this pleasure when they could do this all along? Why did Louis have to have super soft lips? Harry could easily kiss them for a lifetime. He moved his large hands to cup his Louis' small face, in order to deepen the kiss. While Louis positioned his tiny ones on his pretty boy's chest. " Lou, hair." Harry let the words slip out. He wanted Louis' hands in his hair like every other time. One of the reasons why he had initially decided to grow out his locks.</p>
<p>In reply, Louis slowly pushed Harry away<br/>
"You need to leave. We can't do this, Haz. "<br/>
There was a deep frown on his lovers face, clearly fazed from the rejection. Hurt evident in his eyes.</p>
<p>"Don't call me Haz, then." Harry could feel the pain resurfacing in the form of a lump in his throat followed by a few blinks to ease away the stinging tears.</p>
<p>"Harry. Listen, we've been doing so well. We don't have to pretend anymore. Everyone is happy." Louis tried to reason.</p>
<p>"Who the hell is happy lou?" Harry wanted to scream, wanted to cry ." We're still pretending. I still have to come off as a womanizer! Don't even have you to come to after." Struggling to keep his tears at bay. " You are still dating Eleanor. Do you know who is the fuck is happy??!!! The only one who is happy is the FUCKING MANAGEMENT!!!" Harry yelled, breathing heavily. He had really tried to stay calm.</p>
<p>"Calm down Harry, please." Louis struggled to keep his tone neutral. He couldn't start throwing a fit like Harry. "Calm down, yeah. We don't want to wake up our neighbours."<br/>
He tried to touch Harry's arm to soothe him but Harry jerked it away. Louis could feel his own eyes beginning to water.</p>
<p>"I don't care about the neighbours, or the management or what the media thinks. I care about you, Louis. I love you . Is that not enough?!" Harry continued with glassy eyes, sniffing a little. </p>
<p>"You don't understand! You're not the only one suffering. There's pressure on me as well. I am fighting every fucking day!!" Louis retaliated, getting carried away in the argument. </p>
<p>"If you say you are fighting then stop fighting your feelings for me and start fighting for us." A few tears escaped his eyes as he said those words. Harry angrily wiped them off with the back of his hand before storming out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading.<br/>Should I continue?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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